Somebody asked me yesterday if I was now counting down since I am more than half way through giving up alcohol for the month of January. (#Dryjanuary as it has become known.) I think I said that I was, in a way. I have since had time to reflect on the question and I realise that it’s a little ambiguous. The real question should be; “are you counting down to the moment that you can have an alcoholic drink?” and my answer to that question would actually be, “no I’m not”.
As this month has gone on I have begun to understand that what is driving me is not going without a drink each day but the bigger picture of the challenge. The goal is to go for a whole month without a drink and to be able to reflect on that and say that I did it. It really doesn’t matter whether I have a drink on the 1st of February or not. Whether I get plastered on that day or have a civilized couple of glasses of wine with my Sunday roast. Nor does it matter whether I go on to drink every day or just occasionally after the challenge is over. Well yes it does matter, but it’s not part of this challenge.
Dryjanuary for me is like climbing a set of thirty-one steps. At the top of the landing is a whole heap of prizes. There is the right to brag that I did it. A month of sleeping like a baby. A bundle of money that can be spent on other things. A general feeling of well-being and alertness. And the biggest one of all, the satisfaction of knowing that I am more of an habitual drinker than an alcoholic. The steps themselves aren’t important. I don’t see gallons of beer or wine waiting for me at the top. I see a goal. A finishing line at the end of a gruelling race. The peak of a mountain that has taken a massive effort to ascend. It’s all about achievement for me. (For anybody reading this that has had a relapse during this challenge just see it as staying on the same step for a day or two. You are climbing those stairs again the very next day you go without a drink.)
So yes I am counting down, but not to a drink. I’m counting down to a victory. The successful accomplishment of a challenge. A challenge that I have shied away from many times in the past and this will make the victory all the sweeter. As sweet, shall we say, as a glass of red wine with a roast beef dinner.