I think it’s time to start writing again. I really struggled last year to keep the blog going and it’s taken me quite a while to work out what was wrong. I think I finally understand what has been going on and how to fix it. Fix it for me that is. It might not be quite so interesting for anybody coming along to read this but we will see.
The blog started as a record of our bicycle trip around Britain but in the end it became a bit of a monster. I was quite taken aback by the positive response to some of the posts I put up and I suppose, if I am honest, the tail began to wag the dog. I thrived on the feedback and as the journey progressed I think my writing got more ambitious and I received some very flattering comments. It was only once we got back and I struggled for material to write about that I lost confidence and the posts became first erratic and eventually dried up completely. Now, finally, I understand what went wrong. I had become hooked on the comments and feedback and I was writing for the attention rather than the pleasure. Without any interesting subject matter I felt that what I wrote would be boring, people would stop reading it and then I would feel like a failure so there was no point in writing. It has taken me over a year to realise that I need to go back to writing because I like writing and if people find it entertaining then that’s a bonus, not a reason to write.
Strangely, something similar happened with the cycling. Last spring Gill and I started to go out on our bikes again but it took us a while to work out that we were only doing it because it was expected of us, not because we wanted to do it. It’s such an easy trap to fall into, making other people’s expectations the reason for doing things rather than the reaction to doing them. Gill has since got back on her bike because she wanted to. I am still waiting for the urge to return.
I’m going to try and write something every day this year and see how it develops. It does mean, of course, that if you do keep coming back to read this you will probably find it quite boring. Sorry, that’s the way it has to be I’m afraid. It may be that once in a while I will produce something that other people want to read but I will understand if you have given up on me by then. I myself have given up on a lot of bloggers over the course of this last year so I can hardly complain can I? I’m also going to stop publicising the blog posts and leave it to chance whether people stumble upon them or not. I’m trying really hard to convince myself that I’m doing it for me, not you. Who am I trying to kid? I know.
Well that’s it, all I have to do now is think of something to write about tomorrow.